You've bought the albums, you've worn the T-Shirt, now Underground Zero present the first new merchandise for 20 years...
The Karl Dawson Signature Porta-Bog
Discovered by guitar genius Mr Karl Dawson at the Stonehenge Free Festival in 1985 and perfected over the next 20 years, you'll never need to brave a disgusting festival toilet again! Just find yourself a nice quiet spot in the woods, get out your Karl Dawson Signature Porta-Bog, relax your sphincter and that's it! Join the bears today – coming soon to the merchandise stall at an Underground Zero gig near you.
Warning: may cause complete arse failure and provide your friends with wind-up material for the remainder of your natural life.